No Other Gods...

So... yesterday i was browsing in my local Christian Book store and came upon a new book, "No Other Gods", by Kelly Minter. (Kelly is a friend of mine that i have known since she was 17 years old. This is her second book and like her father, she is an amazing communicator.) I had been in a very dark place having come down off of meds and quickly seeing that I needed to get back on them. I was having all sorts of dark and distorted feelings... if you have been there, you know the place I am talking about. Without a second thought i quickly purchased her book and got into my car... locked the door... and read the 1st chapter. Her words grabbed my heart. It was good. Refreshing. I later hit bottom with a friend... praying and emptying to God all my crap... all the junk in my heart that He was showing me. After about 5 tissues were used and thrown on the floor.. i was done. What was all that crap and junk? I am still not sure. There are fears and a host of unpleasant thoughts and feelings. It was liberating to unload them. My friend and I walked... and then I headed home. I read more of Kelly's book in bed before sleep. I read more this morning before work. She talks about an idol being anything we love and pursue in place of God... it can come in the form of an over-attachment to something... it's taking a good thing and making it an ultimate thing...I know i am capable of walking in those places. There was a huge release and freedom in coming through that time of crying and praying last night. I am lighter and don't feel quite as dysfunctional (i hate that word!) as I did yesterday. Then there is the HUGE thought... how much of this is depression... peri-menopause... and sin? I tire of thinking about it so i just throw it all out there for the Lord to sort through in me. Bottom line... there is peace today.