i never want to let you go because ....

i love how you gently wrap your arms around me and pray over me in the morning before you go to work - i feel very covered when you do that.
i love how you laugh with me like a child... we are just big kids!!
i love how you let your beard grow over the weekend, just because you know i love it.
i love how you let me be me.
i love that you love my girlfriends.
i love that your words are always kind, gentle, pure, loving - they reveal your heart.
i love that you like to stay fit... and lean.
i love that you love to hike with me.
i love that you can do so many things around the house and yard... you are my own make it happen and fix it man.
i love that you celebrate my successes and the races in life I run.
i love that you know my strengths and encourage me in those.
i love that you know my weaknesses and are patient and give me grace.
i love that you have a tender heart and you cry.
i love that even though you don't like coffee, you willing let me stop at starbucks when we travel - just so i am happy.
i love that you tell me "i love you" every day - and usually many times a day.
i love that you to spend time with me.
i love that you care about family and friends.
i love that you saw me one day and wanted to pursue me.
i love that you captured my heart.
i love that i have you to come home to every day.
i love you - and celebrate you on your birthday... and will never let you go...

MOTIVATION!
it is interesting to think about what motivates me. what REALLY motivates me.
for instance... this morning at Hard Bodiez class with Ramona - i was very motivated. i have been very motivated in this class. why?
it is because i am doing something i love... working out - pushing myself physically.
i am being trained by someone that is an expert in this field.
i have respect and admiration for her and what she does.
i have a love for her and feel very connected.
CONNECTED!
i feel a deep soul connection with her.
she motivates me.
people i love and make a deep soul connection with motivate me.
SOUL
i am thinking of several people in my life that have motivated me over the years.
and there are those now in my life that motivate me.
is it the person that motivates me?
is it the fact that they take an interest in me and want to know me,
really know me?
really know my heart?
is it their care and sincere love for me that motivates me?
LOVE
does love have anything to do with motivation?
love is a powerful emotion.
i know it can give life
i know it can change a person deeply.

the deep connection to another soul who wants to know me and love me motivates me.
.. and that motivates me to accomplish the goals i have already set for myself.

..tears and thankful

... i walked into work on friday with tears that had come up from the depths of my heart and were settled at my throat... i needed to keep moving and get busy with my work at hand...
i had an early morning appointment for a diagnostic mammogram. sigh. a "lump" was found earlier in the week and my Dr. wanted to "make sure" it was okay.
i worked hard for 3 days to have "faith" in the very fact that God holds my life... this is nothing. it will be fine. i have no cancer in my family. you know the self talk we do when we need to do it.
i went to the gym for a morning workout - and well - that did not go well. i had cramps and felt awful. i was up-tight. i was fearful. i was closed off. i was in my own little world. i realized how off i was when i tried to interact with my friend and my walls were up in a self protecting mode. i declared i was going home. i got in my car... put on my ipod music and let the tears flow. tears filled with fear and the uncertainty of what the morning results would be. it was a very good emotional release for me and as i cried - i also prayed - and there was peace.
Next... the mammogram. done. waiting. alone in a little room. more waiting. the knock on the door to tell me that "they" wanted to do a sonogram as well. this cannot be good. in 30 seconds or less, i think through my life - my people - my husband - my job and co-workers - how would i handle this if i need to walk through a journey of cancer? i remember that i have a friend waiting for me in the waiting room. she is a new friend - but we seem to connect at a deep level and she knows me pretty well. knowing she is there gives me strength. i remember another friend that sent a text early in the morning telling me she was praying. and 3 other friends that were praying as well. and my husband that wrapped me in his arms that morning and prayed. even if the news was bad - i would be okay. i would tackle that like i do with everything else in my life - with determination to win! the sonogram proves to be the test that would make my fear go away. i could see the lump up on the screen. the technician said it was a lymph node and looked normal. blood was flowing through it. all good... but she would take those pictures off to the dr. i get dressed feeling a bit better. 10 minutes later the good news arrives through this sweet technician that is probably all of 28 - "everything is normal - you can leave."

i leave with my friend and say good-bye, i love you, and hug her in the parking lot. tears are rising up as i walk to my car. i call another friend to give her the good news... and as i am saying good bye to her, my husband calls to see how everything went. i am thankful. full. wanting to grab my days and LIVE hard... make a difference... love extravagantly ... spill joy into others lives... be me....