Thanksgiving is:

• buying groceries and cleaning the house for guests
• making sure all the groceries you buy don't get eaten before Thanksgiving Day!
• buying pumpkin pie ice cream in October and saving it til November 26th.
  
• remembering all those years your Mom did all the cooking... and praying she still knows how to do it at your house.
• wanting to buy food for those who won't have such a big feast.
  
• remembering early mornings growing up and wondering why your mother was up so early to cook.... and now slowly realizing the "why".
  
• remembering snow and being thankful you are in the south now to celebrate in 60 degree weather.
• experiencing fresh or frozen turkey dreams.
• inhaling and breathing deeply at the sight of my now very full pantry.
• 4 empty pie plates waiting to be filled with pumpkin and apples.
• a frozen turkey in the refrigerator thawing.
• a wine rack full.
• clean sheets on all the beds I own and one borrowed inflatable mattress.
• buying extra pillows and silverware.
• breaking down and buying a paula dean knife set. (very nice!)
  
• praying for good warm non-rainy weather- for 4 days please.
• putting 2 leaves in the dining room table - which is now huge and very empty.
  
• buying a 120 inch table cloth.
• praying for safe travels, good conversation, joy and a home that is filled with Christ's love.
  
• desiring to give away love - lots of it!
  
• welcoming family into our home - the first time for most.
  
• being thankful for family - even if we are dysfunctional.
  
• being thankful for friends - i love love love my friends!
  
• knowing God holds it all and gives all things to me freely.
• loving the giver of all things....
  

a heart at rest...

i want to live life with a heart that is at rest, so beauty flows through me from a heart that is at peace with who i am. i want a heart that invites others to "come in" and be who they are when they are with me. the beauty is there... it is actually in every woman, yet not always reveled in every woman. the beauty is often hidden with all the striving. i really do not want to strive. but i know i do. i want to rest. i want to let go and rest.
i want to let go and let God change me - so beauty flows from the very deepest part of me.
i want to know in the depths of my heart where the Spirit dwells that He finds me beautiful, and has deemed me worthy, and in Him i have enough.
i want to welcome Gods love that sings over me,
and embrace the grace He showers on me.
i want to offer other women the grace to be who they are and the room they need to grow.
i want my beauty unveiled.

unsettled....

it hit me again today how hard it is to embrace a changing season of a deep friendship.
the way it was is no longer,
and it is harder to "feel" connected.
distance aids to the "unsettling" that something is wrong
and the sweetness of the closeness we've shared is marred by a lot of not knowing.
i just don't like this place.

Journal Art

a messy table
dirty colored water in a mug
paint brushes and crayons
piano music
brown and black pens
words from past journal entries
i was creating
finally
it made me so happy
more to come...