music... play on...

there is new music playing in my heart today;
it is quiet and peaceful,
bursts of happy melodies mixed with a sadness the follows me unnoticed, yet very real and close. sadness over the realization that time just keeps passing away,
and change is a very stark reality of life.
i can lose myself in the rhythm and feel my spirit being soothed as the notes play and i turn inward. just me. music. god. alone. and i am content.
i am different.
i am changed.
comfortable with who i am again,
and trusting that the one who made me will keep doing his work on me.
he is the only one that can take darkness and evil and selfishness and control and cause one to let go of them. he loosened my grip. it was not easy. i had to give him permission. i had to yield. i had to bend my knee to him. i had to want to change. yet, he did it. not me. i am still amazed.
and i want the music to play.