words that make any kind of sense at all still do not make sense to me as i reflect on my day.
up and down
happy, hurt, feeling pain
loneliness, fear, selfishness,
selfish love
i hated where i walked and i hated how i felt
i prayed
it did pass
but left a wake of hurt
forgiveness was asked,
and given
what is that that grips me so tightly that i cannot breath
nothing makes any sense
reality is no where to be found
i grab for peace
i grab for joy
i know where i am running is not right
so i keep running hoping i will run away from the grip
finally it is loosened and i am "normal"
i embrace change and the birth of new love
i cannot have things the way i want them
i have to ride this out gripping to nothing
i have to walk with open hands,
and trusting
there were many words and tears
there is peace and all is well
i am learning to love through a season of change...
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