reflecting...

reflecting...
it was such a great night last night with dawn and mark.
dawn and i sat at the kitchen island for hours laughing,
and remembering people from our past and a lot of crazy
things we have done.
i laughed so hard so many times that my stomach hurt.
it is a bitter-sweet time this morning.
i have joy springing up from inside of me because of this amazing,
deep friendship that has been a part of me for
20 years.
and i am very gripped by sadness with the reality
that we have to continue this friendship long distance in
a few weeks as dawn moves to Texas.
in my sadness
there is a gut deep satisfaction that we love each other
so deeply and know each other so very well.
this is the part of love i really do not like very well.
saying good-bye, moving on,
feeling the ache of being apart.
i fear the days ahead,
i fear the loneliness of not being able to "touch" dawn when i want to...
or when i need to.
she will be thousands of miles away.
but i have to just walk this out one day at a time.
i have to trust this will be okay.
i have to believe the ache in my heart will go away.