amazed seems to be the word of the day for me
amazed that i feel good!
what changed?
how can i walk in such deep, dark places and not really know why,
and then walk out of that place and just feel so good?
again i do not know why
so... i am amazed!
what am i suppose to learn in all of this?
that life is just sometimes hard?
that i am crazy in my head sometimes?
that i have a tendency towards being low and depressed?
that hormones affect how i feel and act?
that God does not always give us "fun easy" days?
i do not have answers.... so i keep walking
i rejoice in how i felt thursday and friday
i kick up my heels over the joy of a new friend
i love that i was up and had life and energy to give to lauren and andy and jerry last night
i love that church was just a huge blessing this morning
i love that tears fall easily from my eyes and my heart is tender
i loved seeing chrystie this morning
i love knowing that i can trust my God for giving me grace tomorrow
so i will not try to figure it all out
i was in a low place,
and now i am walking on level ground,
and there is joy and life and love.
i will be satisfied with that,
and stand amazed
1 comment:
Awww...it is amazing at how I can love a new friend so quickly. I can't believe how similar we are. I have been having some of the same thought processes about how I can go so low and so high over the last couple of days. I think it is because we just feel so deeply. That is both a blessing and a curse. I think the challenge is to not let our feelings rule us, but not to deny them either. I love that everytime I go to church tears flow freely either out of brokenness, fear and repentance, or joy, grace and abundance. I love that my heart breaks easily for a friend or is just as easily overjoyed for loved ones. I think I am in the process of learning about leading my heart instead of allowing it to lead me; about present active participle belief; about the power that comes to me AFTER I take the first step of faith; that God is in control of all circumstances in life and that I do not have to be afraid or sad, but that I can take joy in the fact that all heaven and earth is under His power and authority...Hopefully, these lessons I am learning will help me bridge some of the divide between the highs and lows and achieve a little more balance. But, I do not ever want to not be touched deeply by joy or pain. I would rather feel everything to the extremem, than feel nothing! We are feelers my friend! I am overjoyed at knowing that I am not alone...there is someone else like me in this world! Love you!
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